Need I to push more?

I admit that I got selective hardworking attitude.

My mood can swing easily and in such sudden way.
If I draw the graph's curves, it would be more depressing.

Now, the burdens and responsibilities come...and more will come.
My heart had been punched again as they come.
Everyone of course used to feel like this although no frequent as I do; the strike on your heart in such sudden way, pumping blood and hormone throughout your body, make me you feel unpleasant, feel pressure, and might lead to the depression...the clarity of thinking always would be lost during this time, and for escapism you might make yourself in high state, as if you were taking drugs; gladly, I dont express this or people will say I am bipolar person.

The eyes, the eyebrows and your forehead sometimes can show it.
*Sigh
I couldnt explain this very well, and most of people always fail to feel this kind of me.
Let alone if I say no to the action of taking those responsibilities. People will assume I just got the normal lazy attitude. It is more beyond that. That's why the hardworking me is very selective ways.

As escapism I just can imagine things that I couldnt capable do it, you know like swimming in the sea, scream out loud as the wave hit the seashore, sing on the stage, or punching and striking people.
When it comes to imagination, it goes nowhere though.

Need I to push more in this responsibilities, or take very long rest until I am ready?
Seriously, this lead to no where...