I dont like to entertain people who are seemingly would not appreciate my presence

I am an introvert kind of person.
My mind can be extrovert but technically, my shyness wouldn't allow me to exude so.
So here are the things that deeply rooted in me;

1. I dont like to entertain people who seemingly would not appreciate my presence.

2. It is such a burden for my emotion and mental if there are people who is much more superior is around me.

3. Keeping things inside my heart by myself without me capable to express made me depressed in suppression.

4. Being told to do something that I will get socially anxious would annoyed me and most probably keep me in hypocrisy.

5. Good intention always turned to be bad or unethical along the way as I think too much.

6. People think people like me are naive, but that is how are we thinking about them.

7. Me can be narcissistic most of the time.

8. People who treat me out of my positive expectation would be hard for me to treat them back nicely in sincerity; mostly; in fake-but-in-a-good way. ( I know if I keep the negativeness, my condition would be worse)

9.Sometimes I can be very selfish especially when I dont think that I need other people's help.

10. I always fear to do something that might come out with bad consequences(like people woud call me bad, disrespectful, bitchy, selfish, stupid) because that is what I am thinking sub-consciously.

11. To counter and fix all of these is a real struggle for me, and can be burden to my emotion